


Is There Room In The Darkness

by Shell_LA



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Age Difference, Aged Up, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Iron Spider - Freeform, M/M, Power Imbalance, Reality Bending, Starker, poor decision making, sugar Daddy vibes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shell_LA/pseuds/Shell_LA
Summary: After a few years of the spider life, Peter had become accustomed to winging things. He doesn't think it'd be bragging to say he's a pro at this point.Then he is thrown into one of the weirdest days of his life ever, which, fine. Normally he could handle it.The problem is that Peter finds this much harder to do whenhe can't remember anything.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me at sugar-anthem.tumblr.com

Peter awoke to smooth sheets on his skin. Like, the softest, silkiest sheets in existence.

He sighed, stretching his limbs before settling back into the bed happily. He kept his eyes shut, savoring the moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up this naturally.

His body felt different this morning for some reason. He wiggled his hips and toes a little bit, wondering why he felt so relaxed and loose. It was a really good feeling. Sort of like after a good night patrolling the city, but not.

It was so quiet. Usually he could hear the traffic from three stories below as if it were right beside his bed. Aunt May’s morning routine before work was also guaranteed to wake him most days, thanks to her off tune humming as she got ready.

Peter frowned.

It was too quiet, actually. Why couldn’t he hear anything?

“Good morning, Mr. Parker.”

Peter’s eyes bolted open.

“H-hello?”

“The time is 7:48 AM Eastern on Friday the 12th, with the temperature at a mild 74 degrees this morning. Shall I pull up the Stark Industries daily briefing memo for you?”

“Uhhh….” Peter looked around for the source of the fancy English voice. His heart started to beat quickly as he took in his surroundings.

He was definitely _not_ in his apartment in Queens.

Full floor to ceiling windows showed a breathtaking view of Manhattan. The room was huge, with soft neutrals and greens all around the nice modern furniture. There were clothes tossed everywhere, but still the place was super nice. Obviously a penthouse, given the height of the ceilings and the view.

Peter spotted a holographic display across the room with the aforementioned weather information, and what looked to be a preview of the SI memo the voice had been talking about.

“Hey.” Peter said. “That’s Mr. Stark’s tech.”

There was a beat of silence as Peter examined the floating data. He crawled out of the bed and walked over to get a better look. It seemed similar to what he’d last seen in Mr. Stark’s lab when he’d been trying out the latest spider suit, but it looked slightly more updated. Again Peter was amazed at how elegant and streamlined the interface was.

“Okay,” Peter breathed out slowly. “Obviously I’m in Stark Tower? But why don’t I remember being here last night?”

There was a moments pause before the voice spoke again. Peter jumped, not expecting a reply.

“Mr. Parker, would you like me to run through your itinerary from yesterday evening?”

“Uhh,” Peter hummed. “…Yeah. Okay.”

“At 4:00 pm you accompanied Mr. Stark to the 16th annual MediTech Conference where you both demonstrated updates made to the patented Healing Adhesives from the SI Surgical Assist line. At 6:30 pm you were present for Mr. Starks’ speech on advances in medical nanotechnology, after which the pair of you were on time for your 8:00 pm dinner reservation at Kyma.”

_What the fuck?_

Peter stood there, stunned. He didn’t remember any of that.

Since when did Mr. Stark take him to conferences, much less let him participate?

“Are you sure…? Mister, uh…”

“JARVIS, sir. Yes I am _quite_ sure. I have been acting as your personal assistant since Mr. Stark granted you primary authorization 4 years ago.”

The English voice was now adopting a slightly suspicious tone, but Peter didn’t notice. His blood had run cold.

JARVIS.

JARVIS was dead. Tony had told him so, it had happened during the conflict with Ultron.

“Where’s FRIDAY?” Peter asked. “Mr. Stark has always had FRIDAY running things since I’ve known him.”

“…I apologize. I am unaware of any such human person. However, if you are referring to the learning capable intelligence unit listed under that name it is in my records that Mr. Stark decommissioned the program for use except for matters pertaining to Iron Man and National Security. Unfortunately the actual decommission date is classified.”

“Oh.”

“I am detecting high levels of distress from you, Mr. Parker. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark up from the lab?”

“No!” Peter cried. “No, I-I’m fine. Thanks, uh... JARVIS. I’m just going to. Get ready? ...Yeah.”

Peter’s mind was whirling. He’d obviously missed something. Something _huge_.

He stood there for a moment, thinking hard, trying to remember anything.

His mind was blank.

Peters instincts were telling him it was best to not throw his cards onto the table right away. JARVIS was obviously listening closely. He should act natural, like he knew what the hell was going on.

Peter walked around the room for a moment, taking in the details and looking for the door to the bathroom. After trying what was apparently the closet first, he found his way into the luxe en suite and stopped dead at the sight of himself in the mirror.

“Holy _shit_.”

The fact that he was taller was the first thing that grabbed his attention.

Not by much, but having always been on the shorter side Peter immediately saw that he had several more inches of height than he remembered having. He reached up to his face, feeling stubble around his jaw, which is when his heart started to beat faster again in alarm.

He looked _older_. His torso and arms were still muscled as they had been, but they were filled out in a way that they hadn’t been before. He looked sturdier, less like he could cover up his frame with a hoodie and still look like a lanky kid.

“What the heck is going on.” Peter whispered to himself, anxious expression reflected back at him in the mirror.

He shook his head, trying to bring some sense of reality to the moment. Okay, this was going to be fine. One step at a time. Just get dressed and get ready.

Peter looked down for a toothbrush, and was thrown when he saw two.

“Uhm. JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Whose room am I in, exactly?”

“Yours, sir.”

“But, there are two toothbrushes.”

There a moment’s pause.

“Is it possible that you are experiencing some memory trouble this morning Mr. Parker? From my data, I have gathered that you only had two alcoholic beverages last night, an insufficient amount to render you unconscious or influenced in any way.”

Peter side stepped the instant of _hey cool, guess I’m old enough to drink_ , and scrambled to allay the AI’s suspicion.

“No, uh, what I meant to say was which one is mine again?” Peter asked, cringing internally at how lame he was at this.

“…the left one, sir.”

Peter brushed his teeth hastily, trying to calm his heart rate. So, he had a girlfriend then.

Or boyfriend.

Cool.

And he was living in Stark Tower? Did that mean he was officially an Avenger? Why wasn’t he at the compound upstate then?

He had so many questions, which only seemed to multiply as he jumped in and out of the shower at light speed and pawed through the closet for the most comfortable, neutral looking outfit he could find. He only saw men’s clothing while peering inside. Did that mean his partner was definitely a guy? Or maybe they only slept over some times?

Peter blushed at the thought. He didn’t even remember ever having sex. In his mind, he was still very much a virgin. He was mortified.

Running his fingers through his (thankfully the same!) hair quickly to smooth it down, Peter finally made his way out of the bedroom down into the hallway.

This at least looked familiar.

Peter was able to navigate his way to the common area with only a few wrong turns. Again, it looked slightly different, but the elevator was in the same place after all.

JARVIS had said that Mr. Stark was in the lab, but Peter knew there were several in the building, possibly some that he was unaware of.

“JARVIS,” Peter asked. “Which lab is Mr. Stark working in right now?”

“Sir is present in the SI General Research and Development lab on the 8th floor.”

Fuck.

Peter had never been allowed in there in the past. He had only ever been in Mr. Stark’s private labs in the tower and upstate for superhero stuff.

Oh, well. He had to try, right?

“Take me there, please.”

Peter tried his very best to appear calm as he descended. JARVIS had said earlier that Mr. Stark had granted him primary authorization- he was pretty sure that meant all access.

 _So. Cool._ Peter thought to himself with a little grin.

His smile fell to an expression of wonder when the doors opened.

The space was bigger, brighter, more full than Mr. Stark’s personal labs and Peter was gaping at the sheer amount of equipment and people in the space as he entered.

The clear glass doors parted for him easily, and a different AI voice announced _“Mr. Parker, Clearance Level 8, On site.”_

“Hey, Peter.” A young woman with long blonde hair smiled up at him from a clipboard as she hurried past.

“Oh!” Peter said blindly. “Uh, Hey!”

 _I wonder who that was._ He thought frantically. _Friend? Nice coworker? Holy, shit, do I WORK HERE NOW?_

Peter played it cool as best he could, smiling benignly at pretty much everyone as he looked at all the projects cordoned off to all the different areas.

"Parker!" A man shouted from across the lab. "Get your lab coat on!"

Peter blushed as a few people laughed good naturedly. 

"Right, er, sorry!" Peter said, cringing as his voice came out higher than he would've liked. 

Peter walked along a bit faster after that. He was beginning to feel a little desperate.

Where was Mr. Stark?

Finally, as he reached the far edge of the space, where the view of Manhattan reappeared through more windows Peter spotted a familiar silhouette against a large holographic simulation.

Tony Stark was running through what looked to be a mock up of a surgery using SI nano-fibers as a replacement for a Gore-tex graft in a human heart.

Peter watched in amazement as Mr. Stark called out instructions and the nano-fibers assembled themselves inside the valve of the human heart. The engineer was watching the simulated biometric feedback carefully, eyeing the blood pressure of the fake patient and the tensile strength of the graft against the arterial wall.

“Whoa.” Peter whispered under his breath as he approached. This was the stuff of his dreams.

He must have been heard, because Mr. Stark paused the simulation and turned with a smile on his face, one that Peter couldn’t help return.

“Hey, sleepy head.” Mr. Stark greeted him.

Mr. Stark, thankfully, looked the same. At least one thing in this weird day wasn’t different. The man was in a pair of fitted jeans and a vintage t-shirt with a casual jacket over the outfit. He looked good, Peter couldn’t help thinking. But then, he always looked good.

Peter tugged self consciously on the sleeve of the unfamiliar shirt he’d picked out, suddenly hyper aware of how different _he_ looked.

“H-hi.” Peter stammered. “Uh, I mean good morning.”

It was only at the last second that his brain saved him from tacking on the usual “Mr. Stark”.

Mr. Stark snorted softly at Peter’s stilted greeting.

“Sorry, I’ll stop messing around with your project.” He said, and stepped away from the work space.

He turned to face Peter fully, looking expectant, but Peter had no idea why.

When Peter continued to stand there uncertainly, Mr. Stark’s amused and expectant expression dimmed into more of a concerned frown.

“Well, I’m obviously making you nervous. I know last night you said you weren’t ready for me to see it, but honestly honey, your project looks great. You should be proud.”

“ _My_ project?” Peter blurted out, because, _um, what?_

Then his brain caught up. _Honey??? What?!_

Before Peter could even think about processing this, Mr. Stark stepped quickly into his personal space and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Peter’s pulse sky-rocketed, a deep blush running up his face in an instant. He was frozen to the spot, senses picking up a wealth of information. Mr. Stark’s warm and spicy scent filled his space- a heady mixture of cologne, hair product, a trace of engine oil and that certain something that was just him. There was also the trace of a touch on his hip which Peter felt like fire through his clothing. 

_Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit-_

When Peter failed to move even an inch, Mr. Stark pulled away.

“Wow, somebody’s out of it this morning,” He said, leaning back to look at Peter more carefully.

Peter felt one of the older man’s hands on his neck, a thumb rubbing soothingly against his skin.

“You alright?”

Peter’s hands started shaking, but he made sure his voice was steady when he replied.

“Oh, yeah, I’m… I’m fine, a little tired I guess?” He rushed out, trying to make strong eye contact and kind of failing. He shrugged. “I think I’m just out of it today.”

Mr. Stark nodded sympathetically, but the effect was somewhat tainted by the beginnings of a smirk on the older man's face.

“Maybe I was too hard on you last night,” Mr. Stark began, teasing smile stealing fully over his features.

The hand he’d placed on Peter’s neck traveled up to play with the younger man’s hair, running his fingers through it in a way that suggested he’d done so many times before. “Look at you, you’re blushing like a teenager again.”

Peter’s thoughts raced, leaping for something to say. Anything.

“Knew I shouldn’t have listened to you when you said you could handle it.” Mr. Stark said in a lowered voice, expression conspiratorial. “All that moaning though. So pretty. You wanted it bad enough to beg, and now look. I tired you out. Apparently enough to make you late for work this morning.”

Peter let out a little squeak of a sound, his brain short circuiting.

“What.” He breathed.

Mr. Stark laughed again at Peter’s crimson blush before playfully bumping his shoulder.

“Well, okay I guess 10 minutes isn’t exactly late. And I mean, who am I to judge? That’d make me the biggest hypocrite ever.”

Unbelievably, Mr. Stark laid another gentle kiss on Peter’s cheek before finally walking away.

“And on that note, I gotta go Petey-pie. Meetings through lunch. In all seriousness, the project really does look good though.”

Peter stared.

The billionaire called over his shoulder, “I know you think you need another month of trials, but in my opinion you could defend your thesis next week if you wanted. Just think about it okay? See you at dinner, kid.”

Peter could only stand there as Mr. Stark left the lab, his brain still trying to come back online. 


	2. Two

Peter stared down at what was apparently his work station, shell shocked.

He was dating Tony Stark.

Okay.

Peter tried to sling some coherent thoughts together through the fog of disbelief. He _must_ have amnesia. That was the only explanation as to how he had ended up dating his childhood hero and living in Stark Tower with him.

Peter looked down at the work bench, studying the print outs and notebooks spread over the surface more closely.

Yep, that was all his handwriting, a messy scrawl of schematics and calculations relating to what looked remarkably similar to the formula for his web fluid. It looked like he and _Tony_ (Peter tried the name out in his head, getting a happy little shiver down his spine at the way it sounded) had combined their work to make products for the healthcare industry.

Peter stared at the work, flipping through pages, trying to comprehend the details. With dismay he realized he didn’t really understand it. The general idea, yes, but he still had his 18 year old mind, the one that hadn’t received a college education yet.   
  
“Huh,” Peter said under his breath. “I wonder where I went to college?”

He turned away from the work station abruptly and headed back over to the elevators at the lab entrance. Once he was inside he took a second to think. 

Peter then asked a carefully worded question.

“Hey JARVIS? I can’t remember where I left my personal computer, do you know where it is?”

“You’ll find your laptop in the common seating area on your private floor, sir.”

“Oh, okay,” Peter sighed in relief. “Let’s go there.”

He did spot a shiny, top of the line SI laptop sitting on one of the sofas as soon as he walked to the common area. He opened it quickly, but before he even had a chance to start thinking of possible passwords, a grid quickly flashed up and scanned his face, granting him access to the computer.

Peter pulled up a browser and googled himself.

Gossip stories, science articles and paparazzi pictures were the first returns from his search.

“Holy crap.”

Feeling numb, he clicked through a few of the TMZ tags, reading about ‘Tony Stark and his shockingly young boyfriend’. Most of the articles referenced the scandal of their relationship beginning what looked to be three years previously.

He had no idea how long he clicked through slideshow after slideshow of paparazzi shots of him and Tony. There were pictures of them at events, on the street, or sitting at sidewalk coffee shops and restaurants.

They looked comfortable with one another. Confident. Happy.

Peter felt like he was looking at someone else. Who was this person, always pictured wrapped in Mr. Stark’s arms or holding his hand?

Peter clicked back, and stopped short at a Wikipedia page. A whole wiki article, about him!

He began to read through it hungrily.

He was 24 right now.

That meant he had started dating Tony when he was 21.

Peter tried not to freak out about that, deciding to just keep reading.

As soon as he read that he’d gone to MIT for undergrad, Peter couldn’t stop grinning. He had made it to his dream school after all.

He was now taking graduate level courses in Biochemistry and Biomedical Engineering at Columbia while he worked part time at Stark Industries with Tony.

“I can’t believe this.” Peter whispered to himself. “How did I get so lucky?”

Peter minimized the browser and started clicking through the icons on the laptop.

There was a lot of research and primary literature saved in a very specific organizational system, with authors and publishing dates tagged for reference.

His photo library was substantial. He was about to click on it when he stopped suddenly.

Peter decided to wait on looking through the thousands of photos even though he desperately wanted to snoop.

_Is it snooping if they’re your pictures? Even if you don’t remember them?_

Peter shook off the temptation. He knew it would take him hours.

His heart leapt into his throat as he pulled up his messaging system- there were conversations ongoing with Aunt May, Ned, MJ, and a bunch of names he didn’t recognize.

He was floored when he scrolled down further and saw Colonel Rhodes, Pepper Potts and Flash in his text history as well.

Peter pulled up all the different conversations, trying to get a read on what things were like right now. There were a bunch of school related texts from the names he didn’t know, about class times, research advisory meetings and office hours. He smiled fondly as he saw plans to meet up with Ned for a movie premier and huge blocks of text between him and MJ.

Peter laughed when he saw that they had been in the midst of a huge political argument- she had obviously kicked his ass, but Peter started blushing when he saw a few of her quips mentioning Tony as his “capitalist sugar daddy”.

Peter decided to google his friends.

He saw that they were both also still in school, though it looked like Ned was working at a tech startup and MJ was heavily involved with non-profit work. He was happy to see they were all still in the city though. Maybe he could slip out of the tower and go and see them? Peter needed some answers.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was mid morning at this point, but he honestly didn’t feel like he could scrape through a day at “work” without giving away what had happened to him.

Peter knew that if this was all real then it would be the best option to just be honest with Mr. Stark and reach out for some help in remembering. The problem was that Peter had this nagging _feeling_ in his gut like something important was missing from the equation, and it was staying his hand.

He decided to just spend the day trying to get acquainted with this new adult version of himself.

Peter meandered his way back to his bedroom and found what must be his cell phone on the bedside table. Thankfully it had a biometric lock, so it opened with just his touch. He also swiped his wallet after searching around the room for it and checking the ID inside to be sure. He headed to the elevators for the third time that morning.

Peter made his way across the lobby hastily, but was stopped by a doorman on his way out.

“Would you like me to call the car around for you, Mr. Parker?” A friendly older gentleman asked.

“Oh! Uhh, no that’s okay, I’m gonna walk today.” Peter said. “Thank you though.”

“Have a good day, sir!”

Peter shook his head as he spilled out onto the busy sidewalk.

_So weird._

The young superhero had only walked a few blocks when he realized that he didn’t have much of a plan, but already the swelling anxiety in his chest had faded a bit and was continuing to do so the farther away he got from the tower.

The city looked the same.

When he was walking in the crowds of New York, he didn’t feel any different. Sure, it wasn’t his borough but it was still a part of home.

 _Okay._ He thought as he wandered.  _What would you do if you were stuck any other time about normal non spidey stuff?_

Peter pulled out his phone and dialed Ned.

“Hey! You finally called me first!”

Peter felt relief at the sound of his best friend’s voice.

"I call you all the time!" Peter defended before realizing he actually didn't know if that was true anymore. He felt a pang in his chest. He  _hoped_ that was still true. 

“Dude, I need your help. Something really weird is going on.”

“When is something weird _not_ happening in your life Peter?” Ned laughed.

“Okay, but this is like, super weird, like, I need to talk to you in person ASAP. Do you have a lunch break you can take right now?”

"Dude it's only like 11:00 right now."

"Please please please!"

“Uh... yeah, okay,” Ned hummed. “I can take a break in about… 20 minutes? Do you mind if we do that usual cafe across from my work?”

“Yeah, anywhere. That’s perfect.” Peter said. "See you."

* * *

Peter figured out which cafe Ned was talking about by googling the address of his office and lurking around the entrance. He waited until Ned walked out of his building, trying not to feel creepy as he followed him to the cafe.

“Ned!” Peter said after walking into the restaurant a few minutes after his friend. “Here!”

Ned turned from looking at a menu, a bit startled as Peter rushed up to him and hugged him tightly.

“Oh my god it’s so good to see you.” Peter rushed out.

Ned awkwardly patted Peter on the head.

“We saw each other last week. You know that right?”

“Well,” Peter said, twisting his shirt sleeve anxiously. “That’s kinda the thing. I don’t know, this might sound fake but... I’ve been having trouble-”

“Okay, wait.” Ned interrupted, holding up a hand. “Before we get into Peter’s latest drama I need to order something and we need to sit down. I’m too hungry to deal with this on an empty stomach.”

30 minutes later Ned’s sandwich was sitting forgotten on his plate and he was staring at Peter, mouth hanging open.

“What do you mean, you _can’t remember_?”

“I-I don’t know!” Peter spluttered, palms up in a defensive gesture. “I have no idea _what_ is going on and I’m scared that if I say something it’ll mess everything up! I thought maybe you could like... tell me everything that's going on? Just an update on everyone and stuff. And on the last couple years.. I guess.”

Peter paused, realizing how insane his request sounded out loud. 

“Huh? Mess what up?”

“Just, everything! Like, what if people will treat me weird or something.”

“If you can’t remember the last five years then yeah, hello, you _are_ different.”

"I'm still me." Peter frowned. "I'm 18. How different could I be in only a few years?"

Ned groaned, “Oh jeeze, that is _so_ weird. Thinking of little you being stuck here. Now.”

“I’m not _little_.” Peter snapped.

Ned ignored him. “Why not just get Tony to run a scan or something. You’re being dumb.”

Peter mentally tripped on Ned calling the billionaire Tony.

“Because. Just looking around at my ‘life’… things seem amazing and I don’t wanna do anything that will, like, jeopardize what I’ve got going on here.”

“Peter.” Ned said slowly. “If you’re really not fucking with me and you actually think you’re 18 years old again, then that is not okay. You need to reach out and ask for help.”

Peter shook his head stubbornly.

“I _am_ asking for help from you, right now. Why do you think you’re the first person I called?"

Ned looked thoughtful.

“Actually, that more than anything makes me think that you must be telling the truth. The whole ‘don’t wanna be a burden’ complex is classic Peter Parker.”

“I’m not like that!”

“Oh yeah? Remember how it was almost 3 years to the day that Tony found out exactly how bad you’d gotten injured when he took your suit away? How mad and hurt he was, and how not surprised I was that you’d hidden the truth from him for that long?”

“Uh. No.” Peter said, going pale. “Mr. Stark found out about that? Finds out about that, I mean?”

“ _Mr_. _Stark_?” Ned whisper-yelled. “Oh _shit_. You _are_ telling the truth. This is bad. This is really bad.”

Peter watched, dismayed, as his best friend put his head in his hands.

“Okay, Peter… I have to tell you something. It might sound really weird to you, or like, the greatest thing ever. I actually have no idea when you started having feelings for him so I don’t know, it doesn't matter I guess, but anyways..."

Ned took a deep breath.

"You and Tony… you guys are dating. Like, seriously a thing.”

Ned was watching his face closely, obviously concerned about a reaction.

Peter felt himself blush hot, all the way to the roots of his hair. Hearing Ned confirm everything that had happened that day somehow cemented it in his mind as 100% certified fact.

“I know.” Peter mumbled. “I figured that out this morning.”

“Shit. Did something happen?” Ned asked. “God, wait, don’t tell me. I don’t- I _don’t_ want to know.”

“Nothing like that!” Peter said. “Just, he kissed me when he saw me this morning. Well. He did joke about last night. I guess…”

“Stop!” Ned cut him off, cringing.

Peter looked down into his lap, feeling embarrassed but also a small prideful sort of happiness low in his stomach.

“Are you okay, though?” Ned asked suddenly. “I know you admired him even when we were younger, but I’m not sure how 18 year old you felt. Is this freaking you out in like, a bad way?”

“No!” Peter assured him.

“So you don’t need to come crash at my place until you remember? Cause we can do that. You know. If you’re nervous or scared, or something.”

“No way. I-I think… maybe I’ve always had some sort of crush on Mr. Stark-“

Ned shuddered. “Okay, well first thing’s first, you need to stop calling him that. His name is Tony, you guys are together, and if you call him that it’s gonna freak him out.”

“Right,” Peter shook his head. “Well, I guess I never even let myself think about … _Tony_ in that way except for daydreaming because it was so not going to ever happen, you know? But yeah, if he ever showed interest it makes sense that I’d go for it.”

“Well, good.” Ned said. “That would’ve sucked, being the guy who kidnapped Tony Stark’s boyfriend.”

Peter couldn’t help but laugh a little hysterically at that. Boyfriend.

Tony Stark’s _boyfriend_.

Seriously, what was his life right now.

“I should probably tell you though, when you guys got together it was a whole thing. Total scandal and all that.” Ned warned.

“May was _so_ furious. I had never seen her that angry before, ever. But you two were stubborn about staying together. You were followed everywhere by photographers for weeks. Tony fought very hard to keep you, all of us actually, away from the spotlight as much as he could but it was kind of impossible.”

"Is May okay with it now though?" Peter asked, worried.

"Yeah." Ned said. "A few Christmases in the books and we're all pretty solid now. He worked really hard to prove to May that he was serious."

Peter's stomach filled with butterflies, trying to imagine someone fighting for him like that. Picturing cozy holidays with Tony in the picture.

“I googled a little bit this morning,” Peter said. “I guess me being 21 would be shocking.”

Ned grimaced, lowering his voice and leaning forward a bit across the table.

“Well, no one knows this but me, MJ, Happy and Pepper but… you guys actually were together before that. You only chose to go public when you turned 21 instead of keeping it secret.”

“What? So… when?”

“You had just turned 19.”

“Oh shit.” Peter said. “So… I was at MIT then, right?”

Ned nodded. “Private jets and Iron Man suits did come in handy for the long distance thing I guess. Actually it was nice. Tony gave me and MJ rides to your apartment sometimes on weekends.”

“Cool.” Peter said, trying to imagine it. “God, I wish I could _remember_ all this. It’s so frustrating.”

The pair sat quietly for a few minutes, thinking hard about the situation.

Ned perked up in his seat.

“Have you thought about checking your suit logs? Maybe things went down during an Avengers mission or something and you’re experiencing latent effects?”

Peter shrugged.

“I hadn’t thought of that. But, I don’t even know where my suit is.”

“Damn, Peter. Thank God nothing has happened since you lost your memory. You wouldn’t even be able to suit up.”

“No!” Peter said, indignant. “A lot has changed obviously but that hasn’t. I’m still _me_ and I can fight whether I remember or not.”

Ned looked doubtful.

“Don’t tell me that’s different now too?” Peter asked, scared.

“No, no!” Ned rushed to calm him down. “You’re definitely still-“ He glanced around. “You know. Spider-you. But you’re an Avenger now. Officially. So running around the city isn’t what you _do_ anymore. Most of the time anyway.”

“Right. Right.” Peter frowned. “Umm. Well. I guess I can just keep looking through my stuff at the tower, the lab. I’ll find it eventually. I’ll look everywhere today when I go back.”

“Good plan. I mean you probably have remote access to your logs anyway, what with the uplink to the labs servers. You might not even need to find your actual suit to get footage. Now that I think about it, your suit might be housed with Tony's."

"Cool." Peter grinned.

"Also try to find your mission reports. The debriefing records would help a lot I’d bet.”

“Dude,” Peter said. “You know more about Avengers stuff than I do right now.”

“Ha. _So_ weird." Ned said. He paused. "Is there  _any_ chance I can convince you to not be dumb and just tell Tony what's going on?"

"Uh.." Peter pretended to think about it. "Nope."

"Typical." Ned sighed. "Well... I gotta go."

He glanced at his watch.

“I’ve already taken way too long for lunch but text me, okay? Everything. I’ll have my phone always on me if you need answers or help or anything.”

“Okay.”

Peter felt so much better about the situation already. He had a life line now.

“Seriously Peter, it means a lot that with all of this happening I’m the one you called for help.”

“Well, duh.” Peter said. “You’re my guy in the chair, right?”

“Dude.” Ned grinned. “Haven’t heard that in a minute. But yeah. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments, they really mean the world to me. So motivating!


	3. Three

 

When Peter got back to Stark Tower he decided to start looking for his Spider suit right away. 

He searched all through the building, going into different rooms and riding the elevator to many, many different floors he’d never had the chance to see before. He decided to approach it systematically, sweeping each space for anything that looked like it might belong to him. 

The basement he knew already held one of Mr. Stark’s personal labs and the garage, so he skipped those floors altogether. There were offices, SI workspaces and storage closer to the bottom of the tower, and as he ascended he found that each floor became a touch more Avengers-centric. 

Then, the top five floors were obviously personal. The elevator’s nav-screen made it clear that those spaces were primary authorization access only. Peter couldn’t imagine more than a handful of people having that status. 

It was so strange thinking of this massive building as his home. That he had spent enough time inside to build a home within its walls. 

He found his own personal lab in the top section of the tower. It was different than Tony’s for sure- way less engineering material, more life sciences stuff. Peter smiled as he saw clothes, snacks, stacks of records and movies, and backpacks spread across the front portion of the area. There was a partition that separated this section from the actual lab, but it was comforting seeing normal things that belonged to him in this futuristic space, even if he didn’t remember owning them. 

He was still processing the fact that he even _had_ his own lab when a voice made him jump.

“Hey, Peter.”

“Karen!”

Peter was surprised at the wave of emotion he felt hearing the AI’s voice. He smiled up at the ceiling, even knowing that wasn’t actually where she was. 

“Are you here for another check in on adhesive fluid trial 326A? I can pull up the decay rate analysis for you.”

“No, thanks Karen. I’m just…actually, can you pull up my suit logs for me? From the last few times I used it for missions?”

“Sure, Peter.” Karen said. A desktop on the nearest workbench flickered to life, pulling up an SI media player with a playlist of videos ready. 

Peter sat down and quickly pressed play. 

Hours later, he wished he had mentally prepared himself more for seeing the videos. He was… different. The way he moved, the way he worked together with the team, the way he and Tony flirted over the comms sometimes. 

The way Tony spoke to him on missions made it clear that he was the billionaires number one priority on the field. Peter felt his heart twist in his chest at how easily he could hear the tenderness beneath his words, how mindful he was about Peter’s position on the field and his status even with everything going on around them. 

It was so different from the way they’d been in Germany that first time, and the very few times he’d fought along side him since then. 

“God.” He muttered, resting his chin in one hand as he watched one recording of the team scrambling to navigate a building’s defenses that included hidden explosives. He could hear the Black Widow swearing in Russian, and Tony’s frustration that his suit’s sensors couldn’t locate all the devices rigged to detonate. 

The missions were _dangerous._ Some of them actually really scary, with the team getting hit hard, getting gruesome injuries, having to get a med-evac out of the field.

The situations he watched himself get backed into, the risks he took had him stunned. Maybe not in a good way. He could hear the distress in Tony’s Iron Man suit voice every time he got into a tight spot. 

Peter realized, now, how _not ready_ he was for Avengers missions. At 18, he wasn’t a fighter the way his older self obviously had been trained up to be. Peter saw many times in his suits feed where he would’ve just… died, had it been him as he was now. Even with his spider sense to help him. 

_How am I going to do this? I don't know how to fight like this._

Peter thought back to how harsh he had thought Tony was being, back when they first started working together. How unfair he thought the billionaire was for trying to limit his patrols. 

Now he sincerely regretted how much trouble he’d given the older man. Tony obviously had known what was coming for Peter as an Avenger in the future. 

The young hero pressed pause finally, feeling shaky.

“Umm. Karen. Can I have all the debriefs from these missions? The ones I’m allowed to see, at least?”

Folder upon folder appeared on the desktop. Peter began to read, taking his time to carefully comb through the reports. 

He looked for anything that might suggest injuries that could cause head trauma, but he also spent a lot of time trying to soak in the details of the Avengers as they stood now. There were more players in the game than when he was 18, that was for sure. 

Flipping through the files of these new names, one in particular caught his eye. 

_Dr. Strange…_

Peter felt that odd, nagging feeling again. 

Staring at the front page summary of the man’s file, he was getting the sense that this person was familiar in some way, and yet he felt pretty sure that he’d never heard his name before.

Peter read into the man’s background extensively, from his beginnings as a surgeon here in New York, to how he had become a _sorcerer_ with _magic powers_. 

He was not an Avenger, and yet he often was called in to consult on the weirder operations that the Avengers dealt with. 

Peter was just beginning to delve into a section of the file called _Kamar-Taj_ when Karen interrupted him.

“Peter, Mr. Stark has asked for your status. Would you like me to screen him through?”

Peter’s heart shot into his throat. 

“No!” He cried. “U-umm, no. Please tell him I’m busy? With… lab work?”

There’s a moments pause.

“Mr. Stark is asking me to remind you that you have a cell phone and that it would be helpful for you to have it on your person during the day, so that he might reach you through other means besides Artificial Intelligence programs.” Karen said, her tone half amused, half concerned. 

“Shit.” Peter pulled the cell phone he’d grabbed this morning from his pocket. He was momentarily surprised that it was already 6:15 PM before seeing line after line of notifications. 

There were two texts from Ned, one from Aunt May, one from a name he didn’t recognize, and… four texts and two missed calls from Mr. Stark.

“ _Shit.”_ Peter hissed again. “Karen, do you know, like, if I had anything going on today? That I was supposed to be doing?”

“You’ve missed two SI Life Sciences Division meetings, a thesis advisory appointment on campus and a charity function at the Met that started 30 minutes ago.”

“Oh.” Peter said.  _Oops._ “Well, can you please tell Mr. St- Tony! Can you tell Tony I’m sick?”

“Sure, Peter.” Karen said in a more concerned tone. 

Then, “Mr. Stark would like you to confirm your status regarding Protocol _Itsy-Bitsy._ ”

_What the fuck?_

“Umm…” Peter guessed blindly. “I’m fine?”

Another pause.

“Mr. Stark will be home shortly from the charity event.”

“Crap.” Peter sighed. Had that been a test of some kind? Had he just failed some kind of security thing?

Peter shook his head, closing all the files quickly. If Mr. Stark was coming home because of him, he should go upstairs. 

* * *

Peter had run to his room to hide.

He had been sitting on his bed for a few minutes before realizing that Tony would know he’d been told he was headed home. Locking himself into his quarters would look suspicious as well as pointless since they obviously used each others’ bedrooms interchangeably. 

Peter swore under his breath as he ran from his room to the common area. He had only just made it down the hallway and flung himself onto the sofa when the elevator chimed.

“Welcome home, sir.”

Peter bolted to attention. Mr. Stark was already loosening his tie and undoing his cuff links as he stepped off the elevator. 

“Thanks, J.” 

Peter stared, twisting to watch from his seat on the couch as the billionaire shed the layers of his suit in the same way he would his Iron Man armor. 

With every layer dropped- his tie placed on an end table, cufflinks clinking down onto the kitchen bar, sunglasses tossed carelessly across the counter- the man seemed to become more loose in the way he held himself. More relaxed.

This was a Tony Stark that Peter had never seen before. 

The older man was humming under his breath a bit, checking out the cupboards in the kitchen, pulling this and that out and clicking on the coffee maker. 

Peter should say something, but his voice seemed to be caught in his throat. 

Tony’s white button up was undone now, loose at the collar and waist. Peter could see tanned skin, contrasting nicely with the crisp white of the shirt. The billionaire had run a hand through his styled hair, sending it in every direction. 

Seeing the man look rumpled like this… Peter began to feel very warm.

“J,” Tony called, opening the fridge and peering inside. “Where’s Mr. No Show at?”

Peter drew in breath to announce his presence-

“Mr. Parker is in the living room, sir.”

Tony whipped around, catching Peter’s gaze in surprise from across the room.

“Jesus, Peter!”

The younger man slunk a bit lower on the sofa.

“Sorry.” He said. 

Then, to his utter _horror,_ Peter felt himself lift his hand in an awkward wave. “Yep. I’m here.”

Tony walked over to him, staring with a puzzled expression. Peter felt incredibly awkward, looking down into his lap after only a second. 

“What is wrong with you?” Tony asked. 

“I-I just decided to take the day.” Peter said to his knees. “Sorry. Been feeling sick since this morning.”

“Petey. You don’t _get_ sick. Remember?”

Tony sat down next to him on the sofa, his gaze worried. “Why don’t you tell me what this is actually about honey?"

Peter’s heart raced at the affectionate term, but he just wanted to slap himself. Right. The Spider bite had made him immune to most everything. _Why_ had he chosen that as his excuse? Idiot! 

“I know.” Peter said quickly, trying to cover. “Just, like, a mental health day, you know? That kind of sick.”

Tony’s mouth quirked up into a half smile. “Mental health day? You? The guy who is literal sunshine all the time?”

Peter shrugged.

Tony stared at him for another moment, clearly wanting more of an explanation. Peter tried very hard to seem at ease this close to Mr. Stark. He supposed he still looked uncomfortable though, because Tony’s amusement faded. 

“Well... that’s fine Peter, but why didn’t you let anybody know?” 

Tony’s hand reached up, smoothing Peter’s hair back from his forehead. The younger mans eyes fluttered closed at the contact.

“Your thesis advisor messaged me. You’ve never missed anything for school, unless it was for a mission. Karen said you blew off work, and you didn’t even warn me I’d be solo tonight at the charity auction. Then you didn’t answer my security check? What’s going on with you?”

_I knew it._ Peter thought. The _Itsy-Bitsy_ thing had to be a test of some kind. One he had definitely not passed. 

The proximity of the older man along with the pressure of his questions seemed to empty his mind of any worthy sounding excuse. Peter had nothing. 

“I’m sorry.” Peter breathed. He was mortified to feel his eyes welling with tears. 

Tony looked alarmed. The billionaire shushed him and cradled his face in his hands, wiping at the tears that just wouldn’t stop now that they’d started.

“It’s okay to have bad days, sweetheart. You just need to let me know. I was worried about you. I _am_ worried about you.”

Mr. Stark kissed him softly on his open mouth, scrambling Peter’s brain even more. He felt shock and arousal shoot through him. 

Peter’s body was trembling, and he buried his head into the side of Mr. Stark’s neck for comfort, breathing in his cologne. Feeling the older mans strong arms wrap around him as he kissed the top of Peter’s head was just… exactly what he needed right now. 

“Peter….” Tony stilled. “You’re shaking. Are you sure nothing else is going on?”

The young man just pressed himself further into Mr. Stark’s warmth. He said nothing. 

They stayed that way for a while, cuddling on the couch, not saying much of anything.

Peter was feeling sleepy, leaning into Tony’s side as the man stroked his hair. Now that he was calmer he was enjoying the new experience of feeling so wanted. 

Mr. Stark was murmuring lowly into his hair, talking about little things and nonsense in an attempt to keep Peter relaxed, but what really comforted the younger man was the soft kisses the he was placing atop his head every few moments. 

After a little while longer, Peter felt an unfamiliar hunger fill his body. The kisses had awakened something in him, a small burning desire for more. More of this feeling of being prized and precious to someone so important.

Peter let his hands snake around Mr. Stark’s waist, pulling their bodies closer together. He let his feelings run away from him, and he found his fingers reaching underneath the undone fabric of Mr. Stark’s shirt, feeling the warm expanse of skin underneath. 

Tony snorted quietly, and Peter felt the movement up close. “Feeling better then, huh?”

Peter looked up at him with wet, wide eyes. “Mmhmm.” 

_You have no idea what you are doing!_ Peter’s mind screamed at him. 

He didn’t care.

Tony’s gaze was heavy, his eyes darkening. He grasped Peter’s chin firmly, lifting his face up for a kiss- 

The elevator dinged again. 

“Tony!”

The couple stiffened. 

“Pepper, I can explain.” Tony said quickly. He was gentle as he extricated himself from Peter’s embrace, standing up to face the CEO of Stark Industries. 

“You can’t just _bail_ on the a Save the Children charity auction, Tony. Do you know how bad that looks? That’s worse than not showing up at all!” 

Pepper sounded so frustrated that Peter could hear how she was talking through clenched teeth. 

Peter felt horrible. He slithered down into the cushions, trying to hide.

“Pepper, please, shh-“

“ _Are you shushing me_  right now _?”_ Pepper said loudly. “I cannot believe-!”

“Peter is sick, Pep!” Tony burst out. “He’s… he’s right here, on the sofa.”

Tony gestured behind himself towards the younger man.

“He’s been having a bad day. He was supposed to be my date tonight, so when he was a no show and didn’t clear my security check I had to come see him for myself that he was alright. I couldn’t risk it.”

Pepper paused.

“Oh, Tony.” Her voice softened a little. “You should have called me.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of that going around right now.” Tony said, rueful. 

“”H-hi.” Peter said softly. 

Pepper’s gaze shot up, looking at the way Peter was hunched in on himself, hiding his body in the sofa cushions. 

“I’m so sorry about today. R-really.” Peter tried to apologize.

Peter saw a flicker of worry in her eyes. 

“Is everything all right?”

“I’m fine!” Peter said. “Just. Not a great day. I feel really bad about missing the event, I’m really sorry.”

She made eye contact with Tony, a silent exchange obviously occurring. She took a large breath and sighed it all out. 

Her expression cleared into one of resigned determination. 

“it’s… nothing that can’t be fixed, I suppose. I have actually dealt with worse. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, Peter. Please let me know if you need any breaks from SI engagements this week, okay?”

“Will do Pep.” Tony said. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Not you, Tony.” Pepper rounded on him. “You’re on damage control. I’m not doing this by myself. I will have you doubling up next week, if that’s what it takes.”

“Aww, Pepper.” Tony complained. “I didn’t even do anything!”

“You left before your statements on behalf of the company! You couldn’t have waited another half hour?” Pepper said sharply. She pulled up her phone, looking down at the screen critically. “You’re going to have to attend another event to compensate. It really did look bad, Tony.”

Peter felt guilty. Mr. Stark was being punished because he’d blown off the whole day’s schedule. He was aware that he hadn’t really _known_ he was supposed to be there, but Mr. Stark and Pepper didn’t know that. He probably just looked lazy to them.

“No, Pepper, come on.” Tony tired to bargain. “Only two of these things a month, that was the deal remember?”

Pepper looked unimpressed. “This one _doesn’t_ count Tony. I’m RSVPing you for the WWF dinner.”

“Not the baby pandas!” Tony clutched his chest dramatically. “Anything but that. I’ll start crying all over my suit when they show those depressing videos after the entree, it’ll be a mess.”

Peter covered a smile with his hand, watching the pair from the couch. The tension eased in his chest slightly, realizing they weren’t really arguing. It was just banter. 

Pepper was cracking a smile at his antics too, but she tapped on her phone firmly. “You’re doing it, I’m confirming your table right now.”

“Pepperrrrr. I don’t wanna go.” 

Suddenly, Peter could hear his own heartbeat in his ears very loudly, drowning out the rest of what Pepper and Tony were saying. He saw the two of them going back and forth, but his ears were ringing with a weird vacuum of silence. 

His fingers started tingling. 

_I don’t wanna go._

_I don’t wanna go._

Peter’s entire body locked up. His blood felt ice cold. 

_I don’t wanna go._

_For a place that had been so bright with the lights of stars and nebulae, Peter remembers thinking how dark Titan had felt. Not physically, but deep in his bones._

_He hadn’t had time to really investigate the feeling before the fighting had started, but he remembers wondering if it was just his spider sense or if the others could feel it too. If Mr. Stark could also feel the wrongness of the place._

_Everything had fallen apart so quickly, only a few minutes difference between an ordinary day and the end of the world._

_Their plan hadn’t been enough. They’d been so close._

_He could only watch, stealing glances, barely keeping up-_

_Tony yelling for him to come help._

_Tony trying to keep them together._

_Peter had been so scared, reacting on instinct as the fall out had hit them all. They couldn’t compete with Thanos’ strength._

_Tony defending to the last-_

_-fighting with everything he had, for everyone-_

_-he could see Tony being stabbed._

_Remembers screaming for him, though no one had heard him over the noise of the conflict._

_Peter remembers all of it, the anguish he’d felt as his mentor was wounded, about to die-_

_Dr. Strange had changed everything, going back on his word_

_-why, why, why-_

_By the time he’d heard the sorcerer’s last words his body had already begun_ _screaming -_

_"It was the only way."_

_-his nervous system warning him of what was coming._

_His senses heightened as he felt his…_

_… his unmaking, he felt-_

_-he couldn’t comprehend, but his body knew-_

_His sight leaving him, things going dark._

_His grip on his mentor slipping into void. Leaving Tony alone._

_Mr. Stark had tried to tell him._

_Peter tried to hold on._

_I don’t wanna go._

_I don’t wanna go._

_“I’m sorry.”_

Peter felt his muscles seizing, shaking. He slid from the sofa onto the floor, gasping. 

“Oh, god! Tony!” Pepper cried out. 

“Peter?!”

His back arched involuntarily off the floor, his head thrown back. He was choking. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Peter!”

He couldn’t _breathe._ Peter closed his eyes, unable to draw in breath. 

He remembered. 

He _remembered._

_I shouldn’t be here… I’m dead…_

_I’m dead._

There was no air left for him. Only ash.


	4. Four

When Peter woke up it was quiet.

He was back in his bedroom in the tower- though if he was being accurate he supposed he shouldn’t call it that at all. He pulled the sheets up to his neck. 

Pale light was streaming in the windows. Peter looked out at the view of New York, taking in the unmarred city scape. He could tell it was very early, the sun only just rising. He felt numb. 

He had died. 

He remembered now with perfect clarity how he had slipped away beneath Mr. Stark’s grip on an alien planet, how the last thing he had seen was the older man’s stricken gaze. 

Peter shut his eyes tightly, trying to anchor himself. He spent a few moments just breathing, feeling the air flow in and out of his lungs, feeling the bed beneath his body. He tried to feel the physical weight of himself, still here, still existing. 

His throat felt tight with the memory of his body dissolving, turning to dust. He felt his fingers clenching the sheets, marveling at their solid presence and his control over them. 

That he hadn’t been suffering from a case of amnesia was now very clear. He had come back from the dead. 

How? 

How was this possible? 

Peter tried to think back on the last few moments of his life that he had felt on Titan.

Dr. Strange had doomed them all before he too was unmade right in front of their eyes. 

He’d said it was the only way. How was giving up the time stone to the one person hell bent on destroying them the only way to save the universe? It didn’t make any sense. 

Had he used it to transport himself and Peter into the future before relinquishing it? Had he been referring to how Peter was now apparently alive, and somewhere else?

Was he in another version of reality? He _did_ remember the sorcerer talking about how reality was a thing that could be shifted through and altered. How there were many possibilities for the way things could end. 

Peter felt his stomach turn. If that was the case, this reality had its own version of himself. A different Peter Parker.

What had happened to him? 

Had he taken his place, stolen his body?

Erased him for good?

It was too much. All of it. He didn’t even know where to begin in trying to figure it out. 

Peter breathed some more, focusing on the motion of it. Trying not to become emotional so he could think of a solution.

He opened his eyes. His one ray of hope was that Dr. Strange _did_ exist here, wherever he was. He’d seen the files himself yesterday in the lab when he had been snooping. 

He had to find him. Strange was his best chance at fixing whatever this was. 

Mr. Stark deserved to have _his_ Peter back… 

…even if that meant that he had to return to a place where he wasn’t around anymore. 

Peter was startled out of his thoughts when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look and-

Mr. Stark was asleep in a chair pulled up next to Peter’s bed, turning restlessly. A blanket had been thrown over his frame. It was obvious that the man had been holding vigil over him. 

_I must have scared him._ Peter thought. His body had reacted violently when he had gotten his memories back. He felt sick just thinking about it.

Peter stared tiredly at Tony. He looked more exhausted than Peter felt. And that was saying something. Tony was still in the clothes from last night. His dress shirt looked like it had been hastily rebuttoned, with a few of the fastenings mismatched to the wrong buttonholes. His shoes were gone, but he was definitely wearing the same slacks from the night before. Peter felt terrible over how late the billionaire must have stayed up over him, but also some relief that the man was so solidly asleep. It would give him a bit more time to think of an explanation for his collapse. 

It was mind boggling that such an important man would take the time to watch over him all night. Peter marveled over how much he must mean to the man for him to have done such a thing. 

_You don’t get to have this._ Peter told himself sternly. _He doesn’t belong to you. Not really._

It was crushing. He had spent the last day in disbelief over his apparent good fortune, that was true, but he’d begun to let himself enjoy the idea of being with the billionaire. All of that attention and love focused on him had felt so special. _He_ had felt so special. 

But this wasn’t his world, or his time, or whatever. _This_ Tony wasn’t _his_ Tony. He was stealing another person’s life. 

_This isn’t yours to have._ Peter thought harshly to himself. _You need to give this back to the version of you that belongs here. The one who was enough for Mr. Stark to fall in love with._

He needed to find Dr. Strange. Whatever else happened, no matter the consequences, that was the first step towards putting things right. 

His new plan in mind, Peter let himself slip back to sleep. He felt the burden of what he had to do heavily, but decided to let himself have some rest before taking on his task. 

* * *

 

Tony startled awake.

His neck twinged painfully as he sat upright, a bodily protest at sleeping in a chair all night. It had been quite some time since he’d last fallen asleep anywhere that wasn’t a bed and he wasn’t as used to it anymore. 

He’d been much better about resting properly these days, only nodding off in the workshop in the midst of especially intense projects. This time he had all the discomfort of an all nighter without any of the productive end results, and about twice as much anxiety for his trouble. 

“JARVIS,” Tony slurred. “Time.”

“10:56 AM sir.”

Tony put his hands over his head, trying to loosen his shoulders and neck. 

He froze mid-stretch.

Peter’s bed was empty.

_Christ, that kid will be the death of me._

“Where the _hell_ is Peter?”

“Mr. Parker left the tower approximately 40 minutes ago, sir. He did not inform me of his intended destination, but his phone appears to be with him. Would you like me to pull up his location?”

Tony deliberated, dragging a hand through his hair with a groan. He was genuinely fearful about Peter’s health- his attack or whatever it was that had happened last night had scared the shit out of both him and Pepper. The kid had been completely unresponsive, only choking as if he couldn’t breathe. 

It had only been after they’d carried him to the medical bay and scanned his unconscious form twice that Tony could believe he wasn’t about to keel over and die.

With no explanations and no problems to fix that they could tell, their only option was to wait for Peter to wake up. 

When a few hours had gone by and it was clear Peter would be resting through the evening, they’d had Peter moved to his room. Pepper had bid him goodnight, promising to handle everything so that Tony could focus on Peter’s well being. 

In all the time he had known the kid, nothing like this had ever happened before. Since he was 14, Tony had been aware of every time the kid had so much as thought about having a cold. After all, it wasn’t often that Peter got sick. His Spider bite had taken care of all but the most dire vulnerabilities. 

It was this in the end that made Tony put Peter’s privacy to the side in favor of his safety. If something was really wrong with the younger man and Tony didn’t catch it, he would never forgive himself. 

“Yeah, J.” Tony said. “Pull up a map will you? Let’s see where our boy wonder is headed.”

* * *

 

When Peter had woken up a second time he was careful to slip soundlessly from his bed.

He had felt guilty as he’d crept past Tony, but he couldn’t help but stall their inevitable conversation. He needed time to think of something, anything to explain what had happened the night before.

Once he was clear of the room, Peter had rushed down to his personal lab and pulled up Dr. Strange’s files again. 

There was a notation that while the sorcerer tended to move sporadically, he was known to favor a location in New York on Bleecker Street.

“The Sanctum?” Peter scoffed at the name in the file, “That’s not dramatic or anything.”

Peter had to admit that from what he could remember about the man’s behavior, he _did_ seem the type to take himself way too seriously.

He typed the address into his phone’s GPS and was on the streets in no time. 

As he walked through the crowds of morning commuters Peter reminded himself that he was a known entity in the city. He tried to keep his head down. Only when he paused on street corners to figure out which way to go did he occasionally get a double take.

Most people didn’t look twice. 

_Ah, New York._ Peter thought fondly. _Gotta love it._

When Peter finally did turn onto Bleecker Street he saw why the place had such a grandiose name. The building was huge and old fashioned looking, as if it had been plopped down decades prior and not been touched since. 

He loitered outside for a while, longer than he would be proud to admit- sizing up the place, looking for anyone going in or out of the building. 

He wondered if Dr. Strange was there right now.

He tried to think of a way to phrase what exactly he wanted. 

_Hey, do you possibly remember ending half of life in the known universe by giving a shiny green rock to a psychotic purple alien? Oh yeah, and did you transport my consciousness into another reality when you did that?_

_“_ God.” Peter muttered under his breath, shaking his head. 

There was no version of his situation that didn’t sound idiotic out loud. 

He mentally tried a few more versions with no luck, but finally a few lingering pedestrians forced his hand. They were trying to be subtle, but Peter could see their phones in their hands, trying to take pictures from a few feet away.

The last thing he needed today was to end up on the internet.

“Screw it.” He grumbled, finally walking across the street. 

As he lifted his hand to knock, the door opened.

“Well if it isn’t the heir apparent. I was wondering when you were finally going to get up the nerve to cross the street.” 

Dr Strange leaned against the door frame, staring down at Peter with raised eyebrows. “You were standing over there for quite a while. Another ten minutes and I’m sure a fan mob would’ve gathered.”

“Uhh.” Peter stared up at the man. It was odd to see the magic user so relaxed and wearing normal clothing. He had only seen the man in the gravest of circumstances before.

“Quick as ever Parker.” The sorcerer rolled his eyes and turned around. “Come in.”

Peter followed, wide eyed at how truly massive the interior was. The place was like a haunted mansion, full of spooky furniture and ancient looking objects on every surface.

“So what is the youngest Avenger doing lurking around my street? Did Stark send you?”

“No.” Peter wrangled his thoughts together, trying to focus. “No, it’s just me.”

“You’re not here on their behalf?”

“Definitely not.” Peter said, still thrown at the idea of being affiliated with the Avengers officially, much less representing them as an envoy. “Just on behalf of myself. I guess.”

“Hmm. A problem that is Spider Man specific...” Strange smirked. “Keeping secrets from them? That _is_ compelling.”

“What?” Peter frowned. “No I’m not. It’s just-”

“What? Too many purse snatchers in New York at the moment?” 

The condescending tone distracted Peter.

“You think that stuff is unimportant?” Peter asked, annoyed. “Sticking up for the little guy _matters._ ”

The older man cocked his head to the side, as if thrown by Peter’s sudden vehemence. 

“I know. It was a joke, Parker."

"Oh. Right." Peter stammered. He felt off-kilter.

Obviously he knew Dr. Strange better here, well enough to be teased by him at least. He found himself wishing he knew more about their dynamic. 

"Well, I have many things to do today and very little time to do them so if you would please get to the point.” Strange said, gesturing to Peter.

“Right.” Peter heaved out a breath, trying to regroup. “Uh. Okay. So, yesterday I was-“

“Stop.” Dr. Strange stared him down suddenly, gaze cold.

“Huh?” Peter’s frown deepened into a glare. “What is your problem? Will you just let me _talk-_ “

Strange grew still. “You’re not Parker.”

“What?” Peter stood up straight. “Of course I am!”

“No….” He said slowly staring at Peter as if he were a puzzle. “You’re not.”

Dr. Strange leaned back, trying to get a good look at him. 

“Interesting.”

“What’s interesting? I _am_ Parker. I mean Peter. Er, me. Myself. You know what I mean!” The younger man insisted. 

“No. ...Not the right one.” The sorcerer stalked forward, lifting a hand. Peter flinched back, making the taller man pause.

“I wasn’t going to _attack_ you.” Dr. Strange scoffed. His hand was glowing slightly as he passed it over Peter’s frame.

“Right. I knew that.” Peter said, eyes following the other man’s hand. “What are you doing? Is that like a magic scan?”

Strange ignored the question, but his eyes were lit up in fascination over the oddity in front of him. 

“Where are you from?”

“Queens.” Peter said. “Why does that matter?”

Dr. Strange pinched the bridge of his nose. “Aren’t you supposed to be Stark’s genius boy toy? I meant what _universe_. Obviously.”

Peter blushed but decided to ignore the jab. “Universe? Oh, God. So I _am_ in a different reality? How can you tell?”

“Magic leaves traces. Everybody knows that.” Strange scoffed, as if Peter was an especially slow student. 

“Umm. Most people don’t _believe_ in magic.”

“Irrelevant. You’ve got aural remnants lingering all over you, it’d be blatantly obvious to even a beginner that you’ve traveled through the voids recently.”

“Voids? Aural…remnants? What, like my-?” Peter touched his ears nervously, feeling for any abnormalities.

“ _No_. Not _that_ kind of aural.” Dr. Strange looked heavenward, as if begging for patience. “Aural as in _your_ _aura_. The pulsing energetic field unique to you and your soul alone out of any in the multi-verse?”

“Oh.”

“Yes. That. In the infinite parallel dimensions that exist there are mirror versions of you, some of them remarkably similar or incredibly different, but each permutation has it’s own unique soul. Each individual has their own aura. I have worked with the Avengers in the past, I know when I am with one of them, and I know how to spot an imposter. You are not the Peter Parker that belongs in this reality. Yet, here you are. In his body. So… like I said. Interesting.”

Peter nodded, calming down in the face of the first near-rational explanation he’d heard for what he was experiencing. The scientist deep down in him clung on to the hope that the more facts he had in his possession, the more likely it would be that he could solve this problem. 

“Okay. Well, yeah. That makes sense. ‘Cause I’m still Peter Parker, like technically, but where I’m from… my body doesn’t one hundred percent look like this. I think where I’m from is really similar? Except for a few things.”

“What things? If you’re here for help in returning home-“

“Yes!” Peter interrupted. “That’s exactly-”

“-then I’ll need as much information as possible. Lots of realities to look through, you know.”

“Right.” Peter rubbed a hand against his forehead, trying to think. “Okay. Um, well first we have this big fight going on right now. Between us and… aliens? New York was attacked again and it’s like, life or death serious.”

The sorcerer looked unimpressed. 

“…Right.” Strange said. “Listen, that doesn’t actually narrow things down as much as you think it would. I’m going to need more information.”

Peter continued to talk for quite some time, trying to be as detailed as possible about the day he died, all the way up to the moment he faded away under Tony’s fingertips.

Strange’s blasé attitude shifted more quickly the longer Peter spoke, until the sorcerer was standing tensely upright, alarm set into his features. The smug attitude was gone, replaced with the sober, intense persona that Peter remembered from his last day of life.

“Impossible.” The older man finally cut him off. “I would _not_ , under any circumstances, yield the time stone. To anyone. It is the best defense Earth has at its disposal to protect our reality.”

Peter shrugged helplessly. Honestly, if he allowed himself to think of that moment too long, of how he’d watched the choice between Tony and the universe unfold in front of him on Titan, he knew he would feel his composure begin to shred. 

“See, you _did_ say that,” Peter’s voice was wobbly, but he kept speaking. “When we were on the ship, you told Mr. Stark that you would let us die if you had to choose between anyone or the stone. But, in the end… you chose Tony. You gave up on the stone… and we _both_ died. And I don’t know _why._ ”

Strange was shaking his head, looking as though he were trying to imagine such a thing. It was clear that the older man was thinking deeply.

“So, it was a plan, right?” Peter prodded. “You must have known something. Something important that would make doing what you did okay. Is… is that why I’m here?”

“It’s possible.” Strange admitted, “Though, there is a more likely possibility that it was the only way that we could win that battle in that reality, and we simply weren’t going to make it out of the fight alive regardless. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. If I had foresight of that outcome, it is possible I would have made that choice even at my own expense, and unfortunately, at yours as well.”

The doctor didn’t look overly troubled by this possibility. This didn’t give Peter much hope. He felt his fingers trembling. He was actively fighting to remain calm, trying to breathe deeply while staring up at Dr. Strange.

“You would just… kill yourself? To win a fight?” Peter breathed. 

“If the situation demanded it, yes.” Strange said simply. 

“But if that’s what happened then why am I _here?”_ Peter tried not to yell, but it was a near thing. 

“I don’t know. I could be wrong.” Dr. Strange said. “That is another odd thing about all of this. Usually one doesn’t physically replace their counterpart when transversing realities. In these cases it is more common to bring your own corporeal body with you.”

“Well I don’t _have_ one of those anymore.” Peter said shortly. “Look, what can we do to fix this _now?_ I need help, like, as soon as possible. Please.”

“We should keep narrowing it down based on the facts. You said Stark made you an Avenger en route to this other planet. Does that mean you hadn’t been one before then? Does Spider Man operate as a lone entity where you’re from?”

Peter shook his head. 

“I was always going to be one.” He explained, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “I was still in training and doing small patrols around the city. The plan was to join officially after college.”

“So you’re younger.”

Peter nodded. 

“Do I want to know how young?”

Peter hesitated. “I’m 18.”

Strange paused, gazing thoughtfully at Peter. “I will never understand why Stark decided to rob the cradle, but it’s interesting to know it’s a decision he makes in multiple planes of existence.”

“No!” Peter said. “Mr. Stark is _not_ my… my _anything_ back home. This is all…new for me.”

“I bet Stark is loving this.” The sorcerer said, his tone dry. “Must have been quite the shock, his young lover becoming even younger, and clueless to boot.”

“I’m not _clueless._ I know stuff.” Peter said. “And… well, he doesn’t actually know? I haven’t told him yet.”

Dr. Strange stared. 

“Why on Earth not?”

“When I woke up here I wasn’t totally sure what was going on. I thought I might’ve just had amnesia.” Peter explained. He felt a tightness in his throat that was making it difficult to talk.

“I thought I might’ve just forgotten that this was my home. I’d been trying to get used to it, cause… everything seems so wonderful here. Perfect, actually. So I was going with it, you know? Figuring it out. But, then I remembered.”

A silence held heavy over the pair of them.

“Peter,” The older man started awkwardly. “If it is possible, I’ll do my best to return you unharmed. But, the integrity of the multi-verse is delicate. Tampering with it might not be allowable, concerning your death.”

Peter nodded silently. He wiped at his face roughly, trying to scrub away a few tears that had slipped down his cheeks.

“I _will_ try.” Strange said, his gaze softening for the first time. “You’ve always been… honorable. A force of good here. Even a good influence on Stark, at times.”

“Will you please not tell him?” Peter asked. “I should be the one to do it. I don’t want him to be mad at me.”

Strange shook his head tiredly.

“Mad at you. You think he would be _mad_ at you. Christ, I haven’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted,” Strange muttered under his breath. 

“Alright, Parker. I’m going start looking for your reality, tap into some research. It might take time for me to contact you with anything. Think you can hold on for a while longer?”

Peter nodded again.

“Good.”

* * *

 

Tony stared at the Sanctum from the back of the car in a brooding silence.

“What are we doing here?” Happy asked from the front seat. “You hate this guy.”

“I don’t _hate_ him.” Tony said. “Just… magic. Ick.”

“So…”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Peter is here, alright? I just wanna see what he’s up to.”

Happy gave him _the look_ through the rear view mirror.

"What."

"Tracking his phone?" Happy asked disapprovingly. 

“It’s for his protection! You never know with these sorcerer types. I don’t like that judgey face, Happy.” Tony defended. “I’m feeling very judged right now.”

“Hey, all I know is you haven’t been the over-bearing mentor type since Peter was, oh, 18 years old? Seems like a bad idea to go all mama bear on him.”

“Can we not with all that right now?”

“Fine. Papa bear, then.”

“That’s infinitely worse, I’m pretty sure. I’m just checking up, okay? He wasn’t feeling well yesterday- he skedaddled before I could talk to him.”

_Understatement of the year._ Tony thought, but he didn’t feel like bringing up Peter’s nightmarish freakout from the day before. It would only stress Happy out to learn about a threat he couldn’t protect Peter from. The two of them liked to act as if they were very good about giving Peter space, but the truth was that they were very protective of him. All of the Avengers were. Probably always would be. 

Happy sat up straight. “There he is.”

Tony watched through the car window as Peter slipped out of the front door of the Sanctum, looking left and right on the street before walking quickly away with his head down. 

“Hm. Does that look like everything is fine to you?” Tony asked, eyes tracking Peter’s hurried stride down the block. 

“He _does_ look cagey. Like he doesn’t want to be seen.” Happy said, sounding suspicious. 

“Swing over there, yeah? Let’s pick our guy up.”

When Happy drew the car close in to the curb and Tony rolled down the window, Peter’s expression was not the shy smile he was used to seeing on his boyfriend’s face. The younger man looked panicked. Tony was positively _bursting_ with questions about why he was sneaking off to see Dr. Strange all by himself, but he knew now was not the time. 

“Hi, baby.” Tony said. “Want a lift back to the tower?”

“T-tony!” Peter said. “Uh, hi. Did… did you follow me here?”

“Peter.” Tony looked over the top of his sunglasses at him. “You scared us last night, okay? Then when I woke up, you were gone. Give a guy a break. I had to make sure you were alright. Let me take you home.”

“It’s okay," Peter hedged, confusing Tony even more. "I could probably use a walk, you know?”

Tony was desperately frustrated. Why was he acting like this?

“I know you enjoy trolling the streets like the good old days, but I’m worried here honey. Just indulge me.”

Peter wiped at his eyes, looking down at the pavement. Tony noticed, then, how red they were. 

“Have you been _crying?”_

Yet another deer-in-the-headlights look was the last straw for the billionaire. 

Tony’s voice hardened.

“Peter. Get in the car. Now.”


End file.
